Candles
Mom,
I light this candle in honor of you, my Mother and my friend. I have so many great memories growing up and I cannot thank you enough for always being there at every sporting event no matter where it was or what time it was. I always loved the football pre-game warm ups and looking up into the stands and seeing you there. It gave me extra incentive to play well. I could hear you yelling "Go Rockets!" over every other voice in the stands. It brings me great joy now just thinking about this.
One of the hardest days of my life was the decision to move to Arizona. I remember Sharon and I pulled into a McDonalds in Columbus, OH to get something to eat. As she went inside I told her I would be right in. I remember sitting on the curb and calling you in tears because I did not want to leave. You told me that everything would be ok and that I should focus on Sharon and creating a new life out there. You said you would come visit. Thank you for that, Mom, because I had some of the best times of my life when you came to visit. I will never forget the look on your face when you saw a giant Saguaro all lit up with green Christmas lights. Green was your favorite color. We had some many good times hiking and just sitting there together staring at the mountains not saying a word. No words were needed to experience the joy of just being together in an environment you loved.
You were always there for me no matter what. Even with you all of your struggles you were there. When I came home for Sharon's service after she passed, you were there, barely able to walk due to a recent procedure. You were there for me during the lowest point of my life when I let alcohol take over my every waking moment. You never gave up on me and put me first even though you were battling for your life.
It is with much gratitude and appreciation that we became so much closer over the past several months. Your spirit never waned and every morning before getting on the CATA bus to go to dialysis you would make sure I had something to eat and gave me a positive message to help me get through the day. I was always excited to see the CATA bus come around the corner at 3:45pm. I knew we would share a great dinner and spend a nice evening together conversing and watching our favorite shows. I will never forget watching the Super Bowl with you. I remember sitting next to you on the couch and the Eagles had won. I was so excited for you. It was so funny because you just sat there staring at the TV in disbelief that your Eagles finally won the Super Bowl.
My purpose was to be there for you in any way I could. I am struggling greatly right now Mom. I love you with all my heart. I have not had much desire for anything since you left. The other day, out of nowhere, I had a vision on when you coached our team in Daisy Campbell baseball. I was scheduled to pitch that day. I was having one of those days, as a 14 year old, where I was just down and out for some reason and did not want to pitch. The first inning was a disaster. I could not throw a strike. The second inning started the same way. I was in tears on the mound and you called a time out. You came to the mound and I was sure you were going to pull let me off the hook and put someone else in. I was ready to head to center field and you looked me in the eye and told me to "get back on that mound and pitch, you are not giving up." It turned out to be one of the best games I have ever pitched.
Just like on that mound, I am struggling badly since you have gone. The only thing that keeps me going is hearing your voice telling me to get back on that mound and pitch. I promise, Mom, I will keep pitching.
I love you Mom and I miss you with all my heart!!
Phone: (814) 827-2631
Fax: (814) 827-3418
303 North Washington St. | Titusville, PA 16354 | Phone: 814-827-2631